[identity profile] banerry.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] whatnancysaid

Nancy takes a case for which she (for some reason) needs a fake name- and she comes *this close* to choosing Carrie Fisher. Do you have any idea how many Star Wars jokes she just dodged? I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. 

 "'Nancy, you're kidding! No statue can whisper!'
A twinkle came into Nancy Drew's blue eyes." (page 1)

Nancy: "Just try snorting a little bit of this white powder, and then see if you still say that."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"A third girl in the Drews' attractive living room, Bess Marvin, spoke up." (page 1)
Woah, they named their living room?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"George lept forward and with a neat judo hold tossed Hannah's assailant over on his back." (page 4)
How. Does George. Suddenly. Know. Judo. This is seriously annoying me more than it should.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Mr. Drew was breathing heavily. Nevertheless he started out the door after the intruder.
Nancy grabbed his arm. 'Please don't!' she begged. 'He may be armed. Let the police handle this!'" (page 6)
Savor this moment, folks- you are never going to hear her say that again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Although Mr. Drew was upset by what had occurred, he smiled when he heard how George had used her knowledge of judo
Grrrr...
on Hannah's attacker.
'Good for you,' he said. 'Can you give a good description of him?'
'Indeed I can,' Hannah spoke up indignantly.
Hannah: "Do you think I'm blind or something?"
'I pulled off his mask. He looked like a gorilla!'" (page 7)
GASP! It's the return of the
gorilla masked thieves!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"[Bess and George] described [the intruder who attacked Hannah] as a strong, heavy-set man with a long scar on his right wrist.
The officer said, 'I think we know who he is. It won't be too hard to pick him up. He earns a living as a strong-arm man for underworld characters.'" (page 8)
Officer: "And believe me, Hades is a real pushover when it comes to giving up his underlings."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Chief Mcginnis, a long-time friend of the Drews, came on the line. He said, 'That man who escaped from your home by the front door has not been apprehended.
'However, we caught that burly fellow who barged in your back door. He refused to give his name and claims he is innocent.'
... A claim which is made even less believeable when he won't give his name. Thanks, st00pid!ND villains!
Love ya!
The chief chuckled.
Chief McGinnis: "Don't worry, we'll beat the truth out of him soon enough."
'He had the nerve to say that Mrs. Gruen attacked him!'" (page 11)
Burly Fellow: "I have no idea why she did it, officer- the old lady's crazy! All I did was push my way into her home without permission- I'm innocent, I tell you! Attica! Attica!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hannah Gruen spoke up. 'Nancy has a long list of accomplishments and Bess and George have been a wonderful help to her. She discovered The Secret of the Old Clock and recently solved The Mystery of the Ivory Charm.'" (page 12)
Hannah: "Copies of the manuscripts are available at our discretion."
Mrs. Merriam: "... I'm sorry, what? You name your cases?"
Nancy: "Like, duh! How else would we get the book deals!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Mr. Drew said he had a request of his own. 'Nancy, I want you to use a disguise and an assumed name while you're working on this case.'
... I don't suppose the fact that she has no actual degree in law matters to Mrs. Merriam?
Again Mrs. Merriam looked alarmed. 'Is that necessary? Won't it bring more trouble to Nancy?'" (page 12)
No, no- do it! It may not be necessary, but it'll be amusing as hell for the readers.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"With a broad grin [George] asked, 'Let's work on a new name for Nancy.
asked = question mark, pleeb.
Since it's a mystery about books, how about Libby, for library- Booker?'
Yeah, and make sure to tell everyone that 'Library' is your full first name, Nancy.
The others laughed.
I'm being serious!
Bess's eyes began to twinkle. 'Mr. Basswood's name is partly fish. How about Nancy calling herself Carrie Fisher?'
Oh, I say just go with Princess Leia and be done with it.
Again there was laughter and many suggestions followed.
Keira Knightly. Gillian Anderson. Janel Moloney. Lisa Edlstein...
In the end it was Hannah Gruen who proposed a name which appealed to Nancy.
Smiling, Nancy said, 'From now on will everyone please address me as Miss Debbie Lynbrook.'
No, dear- from now on, you'll always be Carrie to me.
'Okay, Debbie,' said Bess and George together. Bess added, 'I just hope we don't make any mistakes and call you by your own name.'
Nancy chuckled. 'If you do, I won't pay any attention to you.'" (page 13-14)
Nancy: "And I'll totally de-friend you on myspace!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Suddenly Mrs. Merriam started at Nancy. 'You know, as I recall the face of the sculpture, the young woman looked very much like you. 
Nancy: "Pfft- is she *titian blonde*?
Actually, she was supposed to resemble the wife of its owner. The couple had come from Italy, but she never got over a feeling of homesickness. She passed away while still in her twenties.'" (page 14-15)
*wonders if this means that Nancy only has a few years to live*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy said good night and left the room. Instead of going to her own bedroom, she went back downstairs. she called her little terrier Togo
I'm sorry, what?
from his special place in the basement." (page 16)
Oh, so is *that* where he's been thirteen books? Nice.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As Nancy fondled her pet, 
Togo: "What are you doing? Get off of me!"
and waited for her father's return, she thought about the two mysteries at Waterford.
'It's going to be a real challenge,' she decided.
Oh, is it ever?
'I'll wear a full wig which will cover part of my face. 
?
And I'll use some quick tanning lotion to darken my skin.'" (page 16)
!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy and Hannah were not too surprised to learn that the lawyer had been followed when he left the house with Bess and George. 'I decided it might be a good idea if the men trailing me didn't know where the girls live
Ingenious deduction there, Carson.
so we all went to a soda shop.'
As he paused, Nancy asked, 'And then?' 
Laura: "and then the baby just cryed and then Legolas pick her up and hold her and then the baby stoped crying and then Legolas said..."
Her father said he was sure friends of Bess and George would be in the shop and glad to take the girls home seperately." (page 19)
Carson: "The fact that I was so sure of this has nothing to do with any tracking devices I may or may not have installed, by the way."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The outside line for the Drews' telephone ran overhead fromthe street and dwn the side of the house. The beam of a flashlight revealed that it indeed had been cut.
'The phone company can't repair it until the morning,' Mr. Drew told Nancy.
Carson: "I know this because of the psychic link I share with the head of the company."
'But in the meantime I'll see what kind of electrician I can be.
Carson: "If you see lots of blue sparks and hear screaming, don't come out of the house."
I'll attempt to splice this wire so we can call the police and report what happened." (page 20)
And I think we all know how well this is going to turn out...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'We'll meet at the airport tomorrow at ten o'clock. I won't leave the house before going. When we get together again I'll be Miss Debbie Lynbrook. Please don't act surprised.'
Nancy: "Debbis Lynbrook is several cup sizes larger than I am."
The cousins agreed to the arrangement and said they could not wait to see Nancy in disguise.
Believe me, neither can I.
'Are you going to order your wig over the phone?' Bess asked.
Nancy: "No, there's a fetish store downtown."
'Yes. And I'll have it delivered here.'" (page 21)
She's ordering it the day before she needs it? Where is she ordering it from that she expects it to come so quickly?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As [Mrs. Merriam] said good-by to the Drews and Hannah Gruen, she again expressed her appreciation for their hospitality, and said she was looking forward to the girls' visit to Waterford.
'I don't believe we should be seen together there,' Nancy said.
Regretfully Mrs. Merriam agreed. 'But we'll be talking on the phone,' she said.
Nancy: "Yes, and don't worry- we'll be together again just as soon as I break up with Ned."
Nancy spent the day packing, writing some letters, 
Nancy: "Dear Penthouse..."
and going over various angles of Mrs. Merriam's mystery.
What angles? You don't even know much about it yet!
Mrs. Gruen had become very quiet and Nancy knew she was worrying as she always did whenever the young detective took on a new mystery. 
Narrator: "At least, as she always did whenever the young detective took on a new mystery that involved other women."
Finally Nancy put an arm about the housekeeper and smiled.
Nancy: "Don't worry, they'll still be room in my love life for you- triangles aren't all that uncommon these days."
'If I seem to be running into danger, Bess and George will stop me.'" (page 21-22)
Nancy: "Of course I'll probably ignore them like usual, but..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As [Nancy] finished speaking the front doorbell rang. For a second Nancy and Hannah wondered if one of their enemies might be returning. Before opening the door, they peered outside, then both began to laugh. Ned Nickerson was standing there!" (page 22)
Ack, it's not one of their enemies- it's worse!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Nancy will tell you about our experiences with a couple of masked intruders.'
'What!' exclaimed the tall, handsome football player from Emerson College.
He was amazed to hear about the two mysteries Nancy was about to try solving at Waterford.
They must give him a lobotomy at the end of each book.
'Good night!' he exclaimed. 'You sound as if you might need a little male assistance.
Ned: "After a quick call to Enzyte, however, those problems might just be obliterated."
Don't be surprised if I show up at the yacht club.'
Nancy: "Oh Ned, since when has your stalking ever surprised me?"
Nancy grinned. 'Have you lost your insurance job?' she teased.
'Not up to an hour ago,' he replied. 'But seriously, don't be surprised if I arrive at the yacht club for the weekend.'" (page 22-23)
Dump him, Nancy; he's freaking me out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy told Ned of her planned disguise and change of name. 'Warn the other boys not to give me away,' she said. 'Would you like to meet Debbie Lynbrook?'" (page 23)
Nancy, you're supposed to be working to integrate your personalities!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Walking into the living room, Nancy said in a voice a couple of tones higher than her own,
I am now picturing her speaking like she just inhaled some helium.
'How do you all like Debbie's hair?'
Ned burst into laughter. 'I'd certainly never rocognize you.
It helps that you're stupid.
And the voice is perfect.
Ned: "Have you ever seen 'Alvin and the Chipmunks'?"
Say, when I come to see you Saturday, do you think I should wear a wig too and change my voice?'
Yes Ned, dress in drag- no one will ever notice.
'You stay just the way you are,' Nancy replied." (page 23)
Oh sure, she says that now... just wait till you get to the 'I love you, you're perfect,  now change' stage of the relationship... but we all know that first you have to progress to kissing and handholding, and I think we both know you're a long ways away from that.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy was thinking hard. Somehow she must outwit their potential abductors! Spotting the key in the ignition, she cried out, 'Girls, jump in!'
'Why?' Bess asked." (page 26)
Bess, you're an idiot. I say make her run.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess looked frightened. Her conscience could not quite approve of Nancy's taking the car, yet she told herself that udner the circumstances there was nothing else to do.
Funny how she's never objected all the other times Nancy's broken the law...
Meanwhile George had looked back and was watching the men who stood in the road, anger and bewilderment on their faces.
'You can't outsmart Nancy Drew!' she said
Aaaaaand less than an hour into their adventure, George has already blown their cover. Nice job.
Then she grinned. 'Pardon, Debbie Lynbrook. It was you who did this.'" (page 27)
Nancy: "No, it wasn't! It was me! I did all the- oh wait, yes, you're quite right. Um."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Two officers soon arrived at the airport and Nancy handed one of them the keys to the station wagon. He scrutinized the license plate, then said:
'This is a stolen car. It won't help us trace those men, but the owner will be glad to get it back.'" (page 28)
So the best they could do was steal an already stolen car? These three FAIL as villans.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The clerk, who's name was Sam Lever, 
Don't care.
suggested that the three girls share one bedroom.
Ah, so he's installed some cameras hoping to see some lesbian threesome action, has he? 
'The rooms here are very large. I have a nice one overlooking the bay. It has two double beds.'
The girls decided to take it." (page 29)
Sam: "Score!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George asked, 'Do you supposed those men know who we are, 
After your little outburst, George? I'm sure they know now.
or had they just received orders to abduct three girls coming by plane?'" (page 30)
Kidnapping Ringleader: "Listen to me carefully- go to the Waterford airport and take the first three girls who get off the plane. Doesn't matter who they are- just do it. This porno WILL be made!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'If you feel, however, that you need our personal protection, please phone me.'" (page 30)
Officer: "Here's my own personal phone number..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'I'll stick to the rowboat, thanks,' Bess said. 'I'd rather be under my own steam. If I took a sailboat, the wind might blow me somewhere I didn't want to go,' she added, glancing at a breakwater of rocks not far away.
Um, Bess, you do know you can steer sailboats, right?
'Don't worry, Bess,' said Nancy. 'Why don't you come with me?
Oh, because nothing better ever happens to you.
We can always tack back when you say the word. It's a light offshore wind,' she added, looking up at the pennant on the boathouse. 'And I promise to head up into the wind, whenever you're scared, although I don't relish getting into irons. Oh well, if we do, you can jump out and push!' Nancy laughed.
Bess: "The only words I understood in that little spiel were 'you', 'jump', and 'push', and already I'm saying no."
'Thanks,' Bess answered.
Bess: (dully) "You make my life such a joy to live."
'Why don't you all go together in the Wee Scot?' said a deep voice.
The girls wheeled around in surprise. The speaker was a smiling attractive young man.
*stamps "GOOD" on his forehead*
'Who's he?' asked Bess.
'Who's who?' the young man queried.
Who's on first?
'Wee Scot,' Bess answered indignantly. The others chuckled." (page 32-33)
I... don't get it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The wind's freshening,' Nancy remarked 
So slap it.
as the boat, picking up speed, began to heel over. 'This is fun.'
Bess: "Says you!"
'It's getting so dark!' Bess said apprehensively, looking at the sky.
'That's strange,' thought Nancy. 'It is dark and feels as if the wind is changing.'" (page 35)
Well Nancy, as it gets later and later on into the evening, the sky will sometimes turn a deep shade of navy blue, and little specs of light will start to appear in the sky...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'That was a freak blow,' said Nancy.
Nancy: "But dude, I'd totally take another trip, seriously."
'What did we hit?' Bess asked. Her question was answered as the girls looked at the concrete marker on which a warning was painted in red: Danger. Sunken schooner." (page 36)
D'OH!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George declared that hereafter when they went sailing they should carry skin-diving equipment with them." (page 38)
Snerk.  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy smiled. 'Do me a big favor, Dick. Promise you won't tell a single soul about this.'
'Okay, Debbie. I'll have to report what happened to the sailboat, of course,
Dick: "And believe me, you'll be paying that off for months!"
but I'll keep your brave deed a secret.'
'Thanks,' Nancy murmured." (page 38)
Nancy: "No way is Debbie Lynbrook going to take the credit for something that I did!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Were there any clues to the thieves [of the whispering statue]?' the young detective queried.
'None whatever. I have the feeling that the police gave up in despair trying to find the thieves and the statue.'" (page 39)
They gave up already?! How long has the thing been missing for, a week?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The three friends separated and began a minute hunt for any telltale clues to the thief or thieves. Presently Bess came across part of a torn letter under a stone, but it proved to be only an advertisement." (page 40)
Advertisement: "THIEVES AND VILLAINS! Looking for a place to stash your stolen goods? Look no further..."
Nancy: "What's that, Bess?"
Bess: "Meh, nothing- just an advertisement. I'll throw it away."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy stood by the window staring down at the marble piece. 'You girls are going to be shocked at my guess.'
Oh, doubtful.
'Just the same I want to hear it,' said George.
She and Bess joined Nancy at the window and looked down at the statue. Nancy put an arm around each girl and said,
Nancy: "What say we get it on right here, right now?"
'I have a strong hunch that the statue we're looking at is a reproduction of the original.'" (page 46)
Noooo, really? I'm shocked- they've never done  THAT before!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess and George were amazed at Nancy's deduction. George said, 'If you're right, then the thief is a clever person.
In these books? Um, no.
Nancy nodded. 'And he won't be easy to catch.'" (page 47)
Nancy: "I'll have to wait till he drops a significant clue on the ground right in front of me, or mistakes me for one of his henchmen! It'll be tough, all right."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy suggested that the girls visit [Mr. Basswood's] art gallery and bookshop.
'All right,' Bess agreed. 'But you know I couldn't afford to buy anything in the place. What excuse would we have for going in?'
Is 'browsing' not in this girl's vocabulary?
George looked at her cousin a bit scornfully. 'When you shop for a dress, do you take the first one you see in the first shop?'" (page 49)
Bess: "No, sometimes I pay."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George was next. As she gave the pen to Nanc, she ferverantly hoped that the young detective would not forget she was using an alias.
Glad to here you're so confident in your 'genius' friend, George.
To her delight Nancy put down Debbie Lynbrook, River Heights.
Mr. Atkin glanced at the signatures, then lifted his eyebrows. 'You're all from River Heights?' he asked. 'Do you know a Miss Nancy Drew who lives there?'
The girls managed to show no surprise and George replied quickly, 'I guess everybody in town knows Nancy Drew.
George: "Those wanted posters in the police office certainly help perpetuate the name..."
Are you acquainted with her?'
The girls were curious when he answered, 'Not personally, but a client of mine from River Heights has spoken of her.'
'Oh really?' Bess remarked.
Mr. Atkin: "Ya really!"
'I wonder if we know this person. Would you mind telling us who it is?'
'Mrs. Worth. Are you acquainted with her?'
'Not really,' Bess answered. 'But we know of her.'
The girls did indeed know of Mrs. Worth. She was wealthy, overbearing, and a great gossip." (page 51)
Realy? Well, then she and Nancy must get along great.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As the shop owner asked graciously if he could help the girls, Nancy found it hard to believe that he was deliberately cheating Mrs. Merriam.
Geez- if Nancy ever happens to have a sociopath working against her, she will be totally lost.
In her disguised voice, Debbie Lynbrook asked, May we look around?'" (page 52)
I am now picturing her talking in a really high falsetto-esque voice, and it is all kinds of amusing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy was fascinated by the lovely statuettes, but when she picked one up and looked at the price, she was astonished.
Nancy: "Imagine! Expensive prices in an antique shop!"
'I'd have to be very wealthy to buy it!' she said to herself." (page 52)
Uh-huh. You're not fooling anyone, missy.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'And how about statuary?' the shop owner asked.
Nancy: "Er, statuary what?"
'Very little,' Nancy admitted. 'But if you have a catalog, I could study it." (page 55)
... Oooookay. Let's move away from this topic now, shall we?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'This should help you keep your disguise,' [George] whispered.
Curious, Nancy opened the package. Inside was a stack of calling cards on which had been printed 'Miss Debbie Lynbrook.'
Punctuation goes outside the quotation marks, Miss Keene.
'How clever!' Nancy said. 'Indeed they will be a big help.' Her eyes twinkled. 'Tomorrow morning I shall leave one on the table near Mr. Basswood's office.'" (page 57-58)
Nancy: "He'll never be able to refuse me."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The three girls were aghast when Dick fell though the open cellar window of Basswood's shop.
'What'll we do?' George asked.
'We'd better run!' Bess replied promptly. 'Come on!'
Oh, way to abandon the hot guy you finagled into coming along with you on a sleuthing mission.
Nancy had stretched out her arms to push the cousins away from the window in case the men looked up. In a moment, however, she inched forward and peered down. If Dick had been hurt, she would certainl go to help him!
'But if he's all right,' she said to herself, 'Bess and George and I had better get away from here as quickly as possible.'" (page 64)
Nancy: "Hopefully Dick's parents will be able to afford his ransom."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy remarked that it was possible when Dick did not see them around, he would figure they had gone back to the yacht club. 'Then we'd miss a ride home.'" (page 65)
This is assuming he's still wiling to give you a ride home.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The girls went directly to the parking lot where Dick had left his car. They climbed in.
Narrator: "After jacking the lock, of course."
Ten minutes later he appared. 'Hi! I thought I'd find you here.'" (page 65)
Dick: "About to steal my car, huh? Ha ha, you girls are so resourceful!"

"As Dick paused, George begged him to go on. 'You haven't told us yet how you got away from Mr. Basswood.'" (page 65)
Dick: "Oh, it was no big. I just had to tell him Nancy's real identity, is all."

"The three girls laughed and Dick asked, 'What kind of detective would I make?'
Nancy: "Er, do you really want me to answer that?'
'Excellent,' Nancy replied. 
'Then maybe that's what I'll take up when I finish college,' the young man said." (page 66)
Ooooh, ouch! Was that a jab? I think it was.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"[Nancy] sighed. 'I suppose we girls lost our chance to be in any of the boat races after smashing one of your boats.'
Ned: "Yeah, tell me about it- you wreck my boat, you leave me to the mercy of those psychos in the bookshop... remind me why I hand out with you again?"
'I have a surprise for you, Dick said. 'Top Job
... Sounds like the name of a B-grade racehorse.
has been repaired and is waiting for you sailors. You can make the last race. Bess and George, you can use it in the earlier races.'" (page 66)
Dick: "That way, you two can test it out and make sure it doesn't fall apart the moment it hits the water- after all, we wouldn't want Saint Nancy to get hurt!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"[Nancy] called Mrs. Merriam, who went to consult her list. She came back to the phone and said there were two volumes, System of 
... A Down.
the World by Sir
... John Hargrave.
 Issac Newton and De Orbim Coelestium Revolutionibus by Nicolaus Copernicus. 
'But I'm afraid they've already been sold,' Mrs. Merriam said. 'I was to get ten dollars each as my share.'" (page 67)
Ten dollars each for a pair of rare and priceless books? Are you kidding me, lady? Listen, you don't need people to steal from you for you to get royally ripped off- you do fine all by yourself. 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Ned was saying, 'Well, I don't know. That's a lot of money for me to shell out.'
Very gently Nancy stepped on one of Ned's toes
Only one of them? She's got precision.
and hoped he would get the message that he was to pay any price the shop owner asked." (page 70)
Narrator: "Being Nancy's bitch can get expensive, you see..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Thanks, Ned, for buying the books.
Nancy: "Especially since there's absolutely no way I'm paying you back."
If the ones you receive are from Mrs. Merriam's collection, Mr. Basswood is making a tremendous profit instead of only his commission.'
'Wow!'" (page 71)
Ned: "Say, maybe I should try this 'life of crime' thing..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As Nancy and Ned took their positions, a boy came running. He called out to the watching crowd, 'Telegram for Miss Nancy Drew!'
Instinctively Nancy started to rise,
Will the real Miss Nancy Drew please stand up!
but Ned pulled her back and hissed in her ear,
"Sheesh, you call me stupid?"
'Sit still, Debbie Lynbrook!'" (page 72)
Ned: "Or you'll get such a spanking!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The four young people watched as Mr. Ayer made his way to the messenger and signed for the telegram." (page 74)
Mr. Ayer: "Yes, I'm Nancy Drew..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Ned sighed. 'Let's go wing and wing since we're before the wind, and hope for the best.'
'We may be better off. Setting a spinnaker is always tricky business,' said Nancy. 'We'll do well wing and wing, especially since you're crewing.'" (page 77)
Readers Who Don't Sail: "Zzzzzzzz...."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'But we could have won more easily if we hadn't been fouled,' Ned insisted. 
'It doesn't matter,' Nancy said. 'I think Top Job is a nifty little boat.'
'I guess so,' said Ned, 'and you're a nifty little skipper!'
'Thanks,' said Nancy, laughing." (page 77-78)
Nancy: "But you're still sleeping in your own bed tonight."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As [Nancy] had suspected, the telegram was indeed a hoax. The sheet inside the envelope was blank!
Nancy smiled. 'Whoever sent this did not find out anything,' she said. 'The trick to make me answer the call didn't work.'
Ned: "Ah, but it almost-"
Nancy: "Shut up!"
Mr. Ayers was visibly disturbed." (page 78)
Yeah, these books can do that to ya.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George and Burt were called forward and each received their prizes. There was loud applause because of the close race they had had.
Debbie Lynbrook and Ned were last.
Nancy: "What?! Who's Debb- ah, right. Hehe."
The cups they received were slightly larger
*cough*Compensatingforsomething!!*cough*
and Mr. Ayer mentioned the participants' marvelous sportsmanship in coming in first." (page 79-80)
Yes, because it takes a lot of grace and humility to win.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy was fearful she might be recognized by somebody because she was not wearing her sunglasses.
Like wearing them inside would make you any less conspicuous.
She let her long black hair fall closer around her face, almost covering her cheeks." (page 80)
Why Samara, is that you?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"During [Ned's] absence the wind died down completely. No sounds came from the statue, but just as the others arrived, the wind suddenly began to blow hard again." (page 84)
OoOoOo, the wind has the hots for Ned!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"A slightly frightened look crossed Bess's face. She said, 'It sounded as if the statue were murmuring the words, "Go home! Go home!"'
Dave shook his head. 'You certainly have a gread imagination, Bess.'" (page 84)
Dave: "By which I mean you're completely stoning."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The three boys looked at their watches and said they must leave directly after dinner. 'We'd better eat now,' Burt suggested." (page 84)
Bess: "Oh, why oh why didn't the ghost writers make you my boyfriend?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"While they were eating, Dave said, 'Girls, this has been a really groovy weekend. Invite us down again if you need some male help.'" (page 84)
... Wow. There are so many things wrong with that line, I don't know where to start.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"... Nancy quickly pulled a pad and pencil from her pocket and wrote:
I'm here incognito. Please don't identify me and put this note in your pocket.
She planned to take the Thompsons into her confidence and hoped they would not unwittingly reveal who she was. Surreptitiously Nancy put her hand backward around the side of the statue and the note was taken. There was silence for a couple of moments.
The Thompsons: *thinking* What the hell...?
Feeling it was safe now to face the Thompsons, Nancy walked toward them. She held back the two sides of the long hair which partially covered her face. Recognizing her, Mr. Thompson gave the pretty detective a big wink
Mr. Thompson: "Sayyyy... I definitely remember you!"
and his wife smiled broadly." (page 87)
Mrs. Thompson: "Oh yes, it's Carson Drew's mentally ill daughter! How cute!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Mr. Thompson whispered to Nancy, 'Are you on another mystery adventure?'
'Yes. Someday I'll tell you all about it.'" (page 88)
Nancy: "Or you can just read my books, which are published by Grosset and Dunlap and can be found a bookstore near you!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Mr. Thompson, a physical education teacher, gave the victim a quick examination and said he thought Mr. Atkin had had a heart attack." (page 89)
Meh, I call bluff. I've never had a P.E. teacher that qualified.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"... Mrs. Thompson whispered to Nancy, 'Don't bother to wrap the books. They're so small they'll fit in my purse.'" (page 91)
Mrs. Thompson: "In fact, I wasn't even going to bother paying for them at first!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Presently Mr. Basswood arrived with the statuette. 'I noticed from the sales slip that you're from River Heights,' he said. 'By any chance do you know Carson Drew who lives there with his daughter Nancy?'
Mr. Thompson: "Oh God, yes. The girl's insane, I tell you!"
Nancy: "... Hey!"
Mr. Thompson: "I'm sorry, what was that, Debbie Lynbrook?"
Nancy: "Er... nothing." 
Nancy did not show any emotion at the question. She listened intently for her friends' answer.
To her delight Mr. Thompson replied, 'Mr. Drew is a prominent lawyer in town. He's well known. I understnad his daughter is very attractive.'" (page 92)
Mr. Thompson: "Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, as a matter of fact."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"When Nancy arrived [at the bookshop], she asked Mr. Basswood how his assistant was.
He answered nonchalantly, 'Oh, he'll be all right. Atkin gets these attacks once in a while. Doesn't watch his health.'" (page 94)
*Adds 'heart attacks' to list of trivial health conditions in the Nancy Drew world*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As she walked toward the taxi stand, the young detective said to herself, 'If I had this job as my real livelihood, 
Nancy: "I'd throw myself in front of a train."
I'd certainly ask for higher wages. Mr. Basswood is a selfish old meany.'" (page 95)
Oh my God, she's channeling Karen Brewer!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George asked, 'Mr. Holden, could the thief have sold the original statue at such a high price he became worried and tried to ward of suspicion by having a reproduction made to try to fool people?'
... Grammar, George, grammar! And, y'know, sedatives.
'Oh yes,' the sculptor replied. 'I would say that the original was worth many thousands of dollars.'
'Hypers!' George burst out." (page 98)
I have got to start using that in everyday conversation.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Suddenly [Mr. Holden] began to chuckle. 'It's possible Mr. Basswood may think he recognizes me from photographs he might have seen in magazines or newspapers, so I believe I'll change my name too. How about
Mr. Holden: "Mark Hamil?"
Harry Silver?' 
Well, at least it's something.  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Whenever the shopowner disappeared, Nancy wondered if he had some secret means of spying on her." (page 100)
Nancy: "Sometimes I sleep under Bess's bed, just in case."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"[Mr. Holden] said he guess he would have to go somewhere else and buy a copy [of a statuette]. Nancy noted that the sculptor avoided the word reproduction." (page 101)
Yeah, I had a biology teacher that did that once. It was amusing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Turning to Mr. Basswood, [Nancy] asked, 'How is Mr. Atkin?'
'Coming along. It was certainly mighty inconsiderate of him to pick a time like this to get sick.'" (page 101)
Mr. Basswood: "I still haven't forgiven him for the time he came down with mono and left me to run our art-stealing ring all by myself."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As soon as she had dusted the paintings, Nancy went over to the bookshelves. Because of her special interest in the books, she had memorized the titles of all the volumes." (page 103)
... That's some dedication. Nancy, exactly how OCD are you?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess grabbed the other two girls. 'This is awfully scary. Suppose we're caught!' 
Bess: "And by that I mean, suppose I'm caught and you ditch me the way you ditched Dick!"
'We'll have to take that chance,' Nancy told her.
Nancy: "By the way, thanks for letting me drag you into this without your actual consent."
'I found a hidden room. There are lots of things in it.'" (page 109)
Nancy: "And I'm not even sure that half of it's legal."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Instantly the young detective made a decision. Grabbing Bess and George by their arms, she pointed toward the empty portrait frames. 
'Pose!' Nancy whispered.
Wha...?
The three girls stepped through the frames against the canvas. Each one kneeled and took a different pose. They assumed profile positions so they could not be identified easily if the intruder should happen to know them." (page 110)
Still, they're pretty much screwed if the guy has any depth perception at all. This has got to be one of their lamest ideas EVER.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The man gave a deep grunt, then yanked Bess up from the floor. At the same instant Nancy and George leaped from their frames!" (page 112)
Intruder: "... The hell?! What is this, Harry Potter all of a sudden?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As [the intruder] became obstreperous,
Well well, somebody's figured out how to use Microsoft Thesaurus!
George used a judo trick which buckled the man's knees and he fell." (page 113)
... Okay, I'll let the judo reference slide, but only because of the use of the word 'obstreperous'.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"[Nancy] was sure George with Bess's help could manage the man until officers arrived." (page 113)
*snort* You do realize you're talking about Bess here, right?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As Nancy ran back to the art shop, she hoped that Bess and George had been able to hold the man.
Not likely.
A moment later she saw the shop door burst open. The girls' captive was running away!" (page 114)
See, what did I tell you, Nancy? You should listen to me more often.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"By this time the man had sped across the street and jumped into a car with its motor running. A companion who sat at the wheel immediately took off.
Nancy cried out, 'Stop! Stop!' and run into the street.
Instantly the driver swerved in her direction as if he intended to run her down. She jumped back to the sidewalk just in time.
Well, that was pointless. If you're going to run in front of speeding cars, Nancy, at least have the decency not to chicken out at the last minute.
'What luck!' she thought. 'I wonder what happened.'
By this time Bess and George had come up to her. Shamefaced, they said that despite George's judo skill, they had been unable to hold the man.
Nancy: "That does it- you two have failed me for the last time. I am SO kicking you out of Carson's Angels!"
'He has muscles like steel,' George remarked." (page 114)
George: "Er, not that I was checking him out or anything..."
Nancy: "I dunno, he sounds kind of hot... you didn't happen to get his number, did you?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Since he didn't break into the art shop, he must have a key to it,' said George. 'This is proof that he's in league with Mr. Basswood.'
'Yes,' Nancy replied. 'I've been sure of that ever since he broke into our house and attacked Dad.'" (page 115)
Bullshit. You weren't even sure that Mr. Basswood is evil until recently!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'I'm Debbie Lynbrook and I work at the shop,' Nancy added.
George spoke up. 'That man didn't get anything. By the way, he forced his way into the Drew home in River Heights. The police are still looking for him.'" (page 116)
George: "And I know this because... of stuff."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Before the officers stepped into their car, Nancy said, 'We're staying at the yacht club. If you pick up this man, will you please call Mr. Ayer and tell him. He can pass the message on to us.'" (page 116)
Officer: "I'm sorry, we don't give that sort of information out to civilians."
Nancy: "Excuse me? Do you know who I am? I'm Nancy Dr- oh, shit."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess said she would stay ashore this time. She giggled. 'I don't want to get dumped into the water again.'
Nancy and George exchange smiles. They knew that Bess preferred staying on land and talking to Dick, who was certainly a most attractive companion." (page 117-118)
Bess! What would Dave say?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess said that Dick had offered his car to the girls for the rest of the afternoon.
Bess: "And in return I only have to let him have his way with me for one night!"
'Terrific,' said George.
Nancy smiled. 'Thanks a lot, Dick. That's great.'" (page 119)
Nancy: "I'm glad to see you're getting over the way we left you at the mercy of Mr. Basswood and Co."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy explained that she was trying to elude any car which might be following her. 'At the moment we know that at least three people don't trust us- Mr. Basswood, Mr. Atkin, and the man who attacked my father and came into the art shop.'
George nodded. 'And don't forget the guy who tried to capsize us on the bay and those kidnappers.'" (page 120)
Bess: "... Holy CRAP. Remind me again why i hang out with you guys?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"... [Nancy] appraised [Marco De Keer] intently. He was middle-aged and had a swarthy complexion. His dark hair was long and he wore a full beard. De Keer's outstanding feature were his black eyes which glistened intensely. 
'He may be talented,' Nancy thought, 'but I'll be he's cruel and scheming.'" (page 121-122)
Oh yeah, you say that now that you know he's part of a forgery ring.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George whispered to Nancy, 'The cheat! Let's go in there and confront the two of them with the truth.'
Nancy restrained George. 'I'm afraid we'd come out the losers.'" (page 124)
Oh, it turns out that way no matter what you do, dear.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy chuckled inwardly. Basswood did not call her Nancy Drew! He might think Debbie Lynbrook was a bit nosy, but at least he did not suspect that his employee was Nancy Drew, the young detective!" (page 125)
I love how she assumes that everybody in the world knows exactly who she is.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"A pleasant-faced woman, who reminded Nancy of Hannah Gruen, showed them to a table next to a window." (page 126)
Just remember to restrain yourself, Nancy.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess sighed. 'It must be heavenly living on a farm and raising all your own produce. Do you have chickens and cows and everything?'
Nancy: "What about secret cults and naive girls to stalk?"
George: "Hmmm, no, I think Red Gate Farm was special in that way, Nancy.
The woman, who said her name was Mrs. Ziegler, 
That's Congresswoman Wyatt to you.
beamed. 'Yes, everything.'" (page 126)
Mrs. Ziegler: "My personal favorite part is making fun of the stupid foreigners that come though, though."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess smiled at [Mrs. Ziegler] and said, 'Your baked-ham dinner sounds marvelous. I'll have it. And you might add a glass of milk from one of your cows.'" (page 127)
Mrs. Ziegler: "Oh, you just tell yourself it's homemade, hon."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The young detective's eyes sparkled. 'As soon as we finish eating, I'm going back to Mr. De Keer's place and do more investigating.'
'But surely,' George said, 'he must have locked the barn.'
'Oh, I wasn't going to trespass,' Nancy told her. 'We may find some clues on the ground around the barn.'" (page 128)
Guess what, girls? That's still trespassing. Uh-huh.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Most of the statues were made of terra cotta and were grotesque. Among them was a two-headed monster and a tall skinny figure with an elongated head that rose to a peak and had slanted eyes and an upturned mouth.
... Holy shit, that's my old French sub!
'These would give me a nightmare,' Bess remarked." (page 128)
I concur. That sub was evil.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Another puzzle,' said Bess. 'What does it mean?'
The words on the jagged piece of paper were:
time to move
competitors are be-
picious. Stop work
ble reproductions.
phone from Pit
soon as I look
whispering statue"
(page 129)
So? I've read stuff like that in poetry classes. M De K's just trying to be the next Shel Silverstein, I guess.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess's forefinger was moving over the map. Presently she cried out, 'Here's a town with the name Pitman!'
What about Bug and Leon?
'Any more Pits?' George asked. 'Don't find one that says Pitfall.'
Nancy and Bess smiled and Bess remarked,
"Do you want to kill her, or should I?"
'That's pretty corny.'" (page 132)
Aren't they all, Bess, aren't they all.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"... [Bess] added hopefully, 'Maybe Dick will lend us his car again. He's a great guy.'" (page 132)
Bess: "Helps that he's an idiot, too."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The four young people went downstairs. After a toss of paddles, the partners turned out to be Dick and
Jane.
George against Nancy and Bess." (page 134)
Ooooh, pairing the do-no-wrong Mary Sue with her good-for-nothing best friend... I don't know, guys, this game might actually be close.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"When the girls were ready to go upstairs, Nancy said, 'You don't mind if I stay down here a little while? I'd like to stroll outside and do some thinking.'" (page 136)
Nancy: "And Lord knows I can't do that with you two around."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"No one was around. Deep, garbled words seemed to be issuing from the statue's mouth.
The statue's speaking in tongues!
'There must be a reasonable explanation for this,' Nancy thought." (page 136)
Thank you for your input, Agent Scully.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Relieved that the men had not seen her, Nancy walked quickly back to the clubhouse. She went to her room at once and told George and Bess what had happened.
'Thank goodness you're safe,' said Bess. 'From now on we're never going to leave you alone.'" (page 137)
Nancy: "... Oh, shit."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Mr. Basswood looked up at the ceiling, then at the floor as if trying to make up his mind whether or not
... to kill her.
[Nancy] was telling the truth.
'Is that all there is to it?' he asked. 'I also want to know why you left [Mr. De Keer's] studio in such a hurry.'" (page 139)
Nancy: "... I left the stove on. Do you buy that?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"After the customer had left, Nancy reminded Mr. Basswood of the arrangement he had agreed to. The man's face turned red with anger and he shouted, 'You can't leave early! I need you here!'" (page 140-141)
Aw, Nancy, he's just trying to tell you that he loves you.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"... [Mr. Basswood] must have felt that Nancy was miffed over his scolding because he gave her a half-hearted apology.
'I suppose you must eat,' he said. 
Mr. Basswood: "Unlike Superpigeon."
'But I don't want any food brought in here. Run across the street to the sandwich shop. The reason I need you here this afternnoon is because I plan to go shopping for more merchandise. Please stay.'" (page 141)
Mr. Basswood: "Look, I'm just trying to make this relationship work. I hope you can recognize my efforts. I really am trying to change for you."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Where will I wrap the things and how do I make change for the customers?'" (page 142)
... Nancy. Dear. If you are eighteen years old and you do not know how to make change, I'm afraid you are beyong Mr. Basswood's help.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As soon as they sat down, Nancy said, 'Will you girls please do a little sleuthing for me this afternoon.'
Nancy: "Note the lack of a question mark. I'm not really asking- I'm ordering."
'What do you have in mind?' Bess asked.
Nancy: "Oh, just a little stalking, maybe a bit of breaking and entering... nothing much."
'I want you to follow Mr. Basswood.'
Nancy: "Find out once and for all if he's cheating on me."
'Just the two of us?' Bess asked fearfully.
Nancy: "Oh no, I don't think he'd notice if you brought along the entire Waterford police department as well. YES, of COURSE just the two of you! God, the things I have to put up with."
'Who knows what that man may be up to? I don't relish being kidnapped!'
Nancy was looking out the window. 
Nancy: "Look, I'm already bored with you; just leave."
The next second she jumped from her chair and rushed out the door. Bess and George looked at each other, puzzled. Then they realized why Nancy had left them so abruptly. Through a window they could see Dick walking along the street!
So happy. So innocent. So unsuspecting...
The young detective ran up to him and said,
Nancy: "Please to be falling into my trap right about now."
'You're just the person I was hoping to see! We need some help!'" (page 142)
Nancy, you really have no shame, do you?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The burly man grabbed hold of Nancy, pinned the girl's arms back, and began to stuff the gag into her mouth. At that instant Ned raced into the hall.
The intruder saw him and let go of Nancy." (page 146)
Ack, no! That's always their first mistake- letting go of the brain in favor of the brawn. Ned won't do anything! He has an IQ of -2!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Once more the intruder made a beeline for the front door, but again Ned was too quick for him. He threw the man to the floor, knocking the wind out of him." (page 146)
Why Ned, I never knew you were trained as an LA cop!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Mr. Basswood. I do trucking for him.' Quickly Nancy shot another question at the man. 'And for Marco De Keer too?'
The prisoner stared at Nancy in disbelief. Then he said, 'Sure.' 
Prisoner: "If you'll buy that, sure."
As if suddenly proud of his identity,
Prisoner: "My, my- a sneak attack of self esteem. How did that get in there?"
the man puffed out his chest. 'Trunk Rasson is strong. I can lift anything.'" (page 149)
... You know, I probably would have taken him a lot more seriously if he had never revealed his name.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy took one of the officers aside and whispered to him, 'The River Heights police are looking for this man. I suggest that you contact Chief McGinnis there.'
'We'll do that,' the officer replied.
Officer: "Oh yeah, we'll definitely be doing that, kid." *snigger*
Nancy went on, 'Mrs. Horace Merriam in Waterford
Nancy: "... Has a very unfortunate first name."
will be able to identify him.'" (page 150)
Officer: "Say- what was your name again?"
Nancy: "Uh.... Carrie Fisher?" *runs*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Ned frowned. 'Nancy, I don't like the looks of this whole thing. Boy, am I glad I came when I did! When I think that you might have been a prisoner of that-'
Nancy patted her friend's arm. 'You may even have saved my life!' She looked at him gratefully." (page 151)
Ned: "... So, sex now?"
Nancy: "No."
Ned: *sulks*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

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April 2012

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