[identity profile] banerry.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] whatnancysaid
This book's character in need is yet another whiny, defenseless orphan with a mysterious past. Seriously ghostwriters, it's getting a bit dull.

"As Nancy Drew seated herself at the breakfast table, she noticed a door key beside her plate. The attractive titian-haired girl looked up in surprise at her father, who had just pulled out his own chair. 
'Is this for me?' she asked the tall, handsome attorney." (page 1)
Nancy: "Why on earth are you giving me the key to your hotel room, Dad?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'[Henry Winch] lives near [Misty Lake, Maryland] the year round in the rear of his small shop where he sells confectionery and fish bait.
Nancy chuckled. 'He does sound like a colorful character. Confectionery and bait make quite a combination!'
Especially when you inevitably get them mixed up.
Her father explained that since it was the middle of September, there would probably be few vactioners at the lake. 
Because Nancy, being five, knows nothing about the way vacation schedules typically work.
'I can't imagine why Cecily Curtis wants to stay there.'" (page 2)
Yeah, I don't know why anyone would want to stay at a calm, peaceful lake during the off-season, when there won't be any screaming kids and insane powerboaters buzzing all over the place.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Bess had often remarked that Nancy was like honey with 'the mystery bees swarming around her all the time.'
Narrator: "Bess had failed every creative writing course she ever took in high school."
This was true from the time she had helped her father solve The Secret of the Old Clock to her most recent challenge, deciphering The Password to Larkspur Lane.
Narrator: "Both of which involved Nancy heavily involving herself in the personal lives of old people."
Nancy hurried to the telephone and called [Bess and George]. Fortunately, neither of them had special dates for the next few days and would be able to accompany Nancy." (page 3-4)
Bess: "Drop everything and come with you to drive all the way to Maryland just to give a cottage key to a stranger? Why, sure!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'George is keen about the idea [of going to Misty Lake].'
'I'd expect that,' Mr. Drew commented. 'She's very level-headed and sensible.' He chuckled. 'I'll bet Bess is a little hesitant, though.'
Mr. Drew: "Silly girl- always so unwilling to throw herself headfirst into a dangerous situation. I'm glad you're not like that, honey!"
'Right,' said Nancy, and smiled. 'Bess always worries about the possibility of running into danger, but she's one of the world's best sports when the necessity arises.'" (page 4)
Translated: Bess is the world's biggest pushover.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"In the afternoon, as they came closer to their destination, the three began to do a lot of guessing about Mr. Winch and Cecily Curtis. Finally George declared that their theories probably were one hundred percent wrong.
Bess changed the subject by saying, 'We don't know a thing about how good the food is in Misty Lake. Why don't we stop for an early supper?'" (page 6)
...  Huh. These 'theories' they've been coming up with *might* be kind of interesting for us, the readers, to hear, but apparently they're none of our business.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"As [Nancy, Bess, and George] advanced, they suddenly became aware of a young couple seated on a fallen log a little distance away...
Nancy and the cousins quietly turned in another direction. Just as they were out of sight of the couple, the red-haired girl cried out, 'Why can't you understand? I don't want to get married with a lawsuit hanging over our heads!'
Girl: "Just wait till I"m legal, and then everything will be okay!"
As Nancy and her friends glanced at one another, the boy shouted, 'That's not the real reason! It's the iron bird that's coming between us! I wish you'd never heard of it!'" (page 7)
Wow. Really? Chick have some sort of World War II fetish going on or something?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George declared that if [the footbridge collapsing] were anyone's fault, it was that of the restaurant owners." (page 10-11)
Oh sure, George, blame the only people who weren't involved in any way, shape, or form. That's always a good strategy.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Maybe my friend Nancy Drew here can help you in a special way. She's a detective.
The young woman looked startled, but she revealed nothing about herself and did not offer to give her name. Again she said, 'Thank you, no,' but suddenly burst out, 'Oh, I've made such a mess of my life! Well, good-by.'" (page 11)
... What the hell was that?! From "La-di-dah, my life is just fine, no need to worry" to "ZOMG HELP MEEEE I'M SO SCREWED!!!1!!1!one!!!" back to "Oh well, never mind! Bye!" in 0.5 seconds. That was weird.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"George looked at her cousin severely. 'I'm surprised at you. That' girl's affairs are her own business. Why should she confide in us?'" (page 11)
Bess: "Uh, because most people take one look at Nancy and start spilling their guts. I'm used to it."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy diverted Bess's attention
Nancy: "Look! Free food!"
by pointing out a neat white frame house with a sign: GUESTS. 'That looks nice,' she said. 'It must be the guest house Dad mentioned.'" (page 13)
Nancy: "Not that we're staying there, of course. Haunted cabin, here we come!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'Tell me, are you girls on a trip?'
'Well, sort of,' Nancy replied." (page 14)
Nancy: "We dropped acid, like, twelve hours ago, but the effects haven't totally worn off yet. Crazy, huh?"
Bess: *giggles madly*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'On the way [to the cottage], Bess spotted a small grocery store that was open and begged Nancy to stop so that she couldpick up a few items.
This girl is like an eight-year-old on a cross country road trip. 
'I know we'll all be starving before we get to bed. Remember, we had a very early dinner.'
Nancy: "I knew you had some sort of secret motive for wanting us to stop at that restaurant! I KNEW it!"
Grinning, Nancy complied. When Bess returned from the shop, she was carrying a large bag which she said contained milk, cocoa, cookies and ham sandwiches." (page 15)
Narrator: "In actuality, it contained cigarettes, pot, and beer."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The (girl from the restaurant) paused and whirled about. A look of terror crossed her face as she cried out: 'You can't stop me from getting the babies!'" (page 18)
Quite honestly, I'm not sure I want to know what this is all about.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"A heavy mist surrounded [the opposite shore]. Nancy guessed there might be hot springs in that area, which would account for the unusually heavy vapor." (page 19-20)
Or it's, y'know, foggy out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"'How cozy!' Bess exclaimed. 'I'll bet it's wonderful in the summer with swimming and boating and everything. But why in the world would anybody want to come here alone this time of the year?'
BESS. Listen up- the off-season isn't totally undesirable, okay? Especially not in the fall.
'Fall is beautiful,' George answered. 'Maybe some peope just like to look at the fall foliage.'" (page 20-21)
Nancy: "Yeah, maybe... hey, wouldn't it be crazy if there were states that based their entire tourism industry around that simple concept?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy suddenly proposed, 'Why don't we sleep here? Cecily may not arrive until very late.'
This plan was agreed upon, although reluctantly on Bess's part." (page 21)
Narrator: "For some reason, she wasn't very happy about the idea of spending the night at a random stranger's house without permisson."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The girl from the White Mill restaurant again! But this time she  was not wearing the raincoat and scarf. She had on the same outfit they had seen at the restaurant, and was lugging two suitcases.
'Oh, hello!' she said pleasantly. 'Well, this is a nice surprise! Are you vacationing here?'
Nancy and George were confounded. Hadn't the newcomer recognized them?" (page 23)
Well, she has seen them twice, and even talked to them once... I'm guessing she's an amnesiac.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy, though bewildered, decided to ask no questions,
*falls over in shock*
but she did notice the girl was not yet wearing a wedding ring." (page 24)
Narrator: "So she was ripe for the picking!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"The girls listened intently as the strange humming noise continued. It was muffled. 
'That must be a machine,' Nancy remarked. 'But what kind and where is it?'
'It's probably the pump,' George said practically. 
George: "Honestly, why am I always the one who has to figure things ou-"
Nancy: *death-glares*
George: "Er, I mean, I"m probably wrong, as usual..."
Bess looked doubtful. 'I thought pumps made a thumping noise.'" (page 27)
Nancy: "Thank you, Bess. Here's a cookie." 
George: *sigh*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Nancy chided herself, however, that there was no reason why Cecily should immediately start telling them her personal problems.
Well, why not? Everyone else does. And besides, she nearly started to back at that restaurant...
The man went inside the house again and in a few moments the humming noise stopped. The girls wondered if he had turned off whatever machine had been causing the sound." (page 28)

With deductive skills like that, it's no wonder Nancy solves a mystery practically every five seconds!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  

"It was arranged that Cecily and Nancy would sleep in one of the two bedrooms, and Bess and George in the other." (page 29)
George: "It's not fair- Nancy always gets the new girl."
Bess: "Oh, so I guess I'm just not good enough for you, George?" *sob*
"The cat, Satin, was made comfortable on a small pillow from one of Cecily's bags. The soft, furry animal
Yeah, we know what a cat is, kthanxbai...
cuddled by the fireplace, began to purr, and was soon asleep.
The girls had a snack and then went to bed.
What is this, their third snack of the evening?
Nancy dropped off to sleep almost immediately, but was rudely awakened by the shrill cry of a woman outside." (page 29)
Nancy: "Bess! George! Keep it down, for Chrissake!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  

"Nancy began to laugh. 'We got fooled that time, all right. That bird is a loon. I just rememberd that their call can be easily mistaken for a women's scream." (page 30)
Yeah, maybe if you're drunk, half-deaf, and stoned out of your mind. 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  

"'Oh dear, I hope [Cecily] didn't run away!' Nancy said to herself. 'Maybe my being here with Bess and George disturbed her.'" (page 31)
Nancy: "Oh God, she probably thinks I'm running a lesbian harem or something. I hope I can find her and explain!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The cousins were horrified upon hearing that Cecily had been knocked unconscious.
'Of course I'm not sure that it was a person who did it,' Cecily said quickly." (page 35)
Nancy: *scoffs* "N00b."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Bess, realizing how exhausted the girl was, advised her not to talk any further.
Bess: "At least not until you've contacted your lawyer."
'You and Nancy sleep. When you wake up, I'll have breakfast all ready.'" (page 35)
And playing the part of Hannah Gruen this morning... Miss Bess Marvin!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Cecily said she felt fine, regardless of the bump on her head." (page 35)
People always recover from head trauma amazingly quickly in these books.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Cecily explained that her story dated back to the Civil War." (page 36)
Cecily: "You know, about ten years ago."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"... George said, 'I think, Cecily, that you and Nancy need a strong, athletic person around to help keep guard. Maybe I can fit the bill!'" (page 38)
It's good that George has accepted her lot in life with such grace.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"[Cecily] explained that she was engaged to a young man named Niko Van Dyke." (page 38)
*cough* Stage name!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"In a few moments [Nancy, Bess, George, and Cecily] came to a large, open garage in which two trucks were parked. On the side of each was painted: 
DISCOLL BROTHERS
PLANT MAINTENANCE
They're just too cool to be plain old gardeners, I guess.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Cecily was excited and wanted to rush up to the door at once. Nancy held her back, reminding her that she had been injured on the grounds of the lodge only the evening before." (page 42)
Nancy: "Honest to God, Cecily- have you no sense?! The foliage is probably out to get you! Or something."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Cecily looked worried. 'Oh, dear! How am I ever going to hunt there for the iron bird if we're not to be allowed on the property? 
Cecily, hon, what is with the weird sentence construction today?
It might even be in the house.'
George grinned. 'Nancy will think of a way, I promise you that!'" (page 42-44)
George: "Trespassing is her specialty!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The proprietor, Mr. Joplin, was an inquisitive person. 
In these books, who isn't?
'You're newcomers around here,' he said. 
'Yes, we are,' Nancy answered. She introduced herself and Bess. Noticing two other men in the store, she felt it wiser not to give any more details.
You know, Nancy, paranoia starts being considered a mental illness when it starts to interfere with your everyday life... and choosing not to engage in friendly conversation because there are other people in the vecinity just might qualify.
Bess, however, was not so cautious. 
Silly Bess. It's a wonder she hasn't been killed off by now.
She blurted out that the four girls were staying in the Baker cottage, and that it certainly was a scary place. At this remark one of the two men, tall and pale with hard eyes,
It's a vampire!
stared intently at the girls." (page 44)
Okay, fine, Nancy- you were right this time. But I still think you have serious issues.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"[Cecily] told the others she had not been able to get ahold of Niko either at his hotel or the theater where he was playing. 'I did leave word I was at the cottage with friends,' she said, and sighed. 'Oh, I just hope he isn't too upset!'" (page 46)
Cecily: "He always gets nervous when I spend time in lesbian harems. I just hope he can forgive me this time..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Don't be worried,' [the man] said. 'I'm Karl Driscoll. I heard my brother Vince ordered you off our property and I came to apologize.
Karl: "I can't believe him sometimes- as if trespassers don't have rights or something!"
There's no reason why you girls shouldn't look aroudn the grounds. You're welcome any time.'
Karl: "But only because you're so hot."
He smirked 
Nancy: "Oh, yeah. He wants me."
and went on, 'I have a hunch you're not just sightseers. You looking for something?'
Nancy: "Yeah. An easy way in."
Nancy would have preferred that the girls say nothing, but Cecily spoke up eagerly." (page 46-47)
Cecily: "We don't really like the 'breaking' part of breaking and entering, but if that's the only way, then so be it."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'What do you make of all that?' George asked with suspicion in her tone. 'One brother is surly and the other goes out of his way to apologize.'
George: "It's almost as if they had totally seperate personalities or something!"
'It is strange,' Nancy admitted. 'I think we should take advantage of Karl Driscoll's offer and inspect the grounds very soon.'
Cecily was eager to do so and it was decided that they would go directly after luncheon." (page 48)
As usual, Nancy and the Tertiary Character of the Day make all the decisions, and Bess and George are left in the dust. And you say these books have no sense of continuity!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Oh boy, hot water!' Bess exclaimed. 'Me for a relaxing bath.'
Stop talking like a three-year-old, Bess. Between you and Cecily, it's a wonder I'm even understanding what you're trying to say.
'Not now,' George said. 'Sleuthing comes first.'" (page 48)
Bess: *huffs* "And why can't I just stay at home and have a bath, while you guys go on and do whatever you want?"
George: "... 'Cause you're whipped."
Bess: "Oh, yeah." *sigh*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Afterward, Cecily proposed that they go to town. 'I'd like to try telephoning Niko and the Waynes again.'" (page 48)
If I ever start a rock band, Niko and the Waynes is totally going to be the name. Just saying.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"At seven o'clock they set off for the village. All the stores were closed with the excpetion of Eddie's Soda Shop.
Narrator: "No one would be around to hear Eddie scream..."
As Cecily went into a phone booth, the other girls engaged Eddie in conversation." (page 48-49)
Meanwhlle, George crept behind the counter. Her target: the unguarded cash register.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Eddie came back with a record and played it for them. The girls listened intently to the Flying Dutchmen's number and at the end voted it an excellent piece.
Well, duh, they have to say that- the girlfriend's there.
'It's Niko's best,' said Eddie.
Any music group that is liked by both teenage girls and middle-aged men is either really good, or really bad. And in this case, I'm betting on the latter.
'He must be making a pile of money!'
A pained expression came over Cecily's face and George quickly suggested she have some ice cream." (page 50)
Oh, yeah- ice cream always helps when you're worried about your financial situation.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Bess, who was facing the lake, gave a scream. 'Listen! Look!'" (page 51)
... Before you cross the street?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Bess shrieked as the phantom launch disappeared underwater. 'I've- I've never believed in ghosts,' she said shakily, 'but now I'm afraid I do!'
Even after all the times you've seen 'ghosts' that have turned out to be fake? Remember the one at Twin Elms?  Or what about the phantom horse at Shadow Ranch? No? Sheesh. This chick is more easy to convince than Fox Mulder.
George looked at her scornfully. 'Ghosts, nothing! There must be some logical explanation.'" (page 53)
... And now George is bringing on the Scully. Way to do it the X-Files way, guys! Whoo!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The swamp was about three hundred feet long. It was more treacherous than Nancy had bargained for and she found herself floundering and slipping until she was soaking wet. The girl detective smiled.
'This is a crazy procedure,' she told herself. 
Well, you shouldn't have asked to be treated by Dr. House, then!
'I haven't picked up one single clue, and what a mess I am!'" (page 54)
You know, this is a fine example of what is probably my least favorite thing about Nancy. No matter how much shitty stuff happens to her (not that there's much, of course), she never gets bitchy, or even slightly annoyed. It's a bit sickening. 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Anyhow, I'd like to do some investigating in the area of the lodge. Please don't mind if I skip helping with the dishes.'" (page 55)
Ha.  "Dad, I have to go sleuthing!" was totally her 'getting out of homework' excuse when she was a kid.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The young sleuth cold well believe that something strange was going on inside the big stone house and even that someone was signaling for help. Her mind conjured up all sorts of possibilities about a prisoner who was bound and gagged in the room.
Oh, God. If they repeat that plotline for the third time in a row, I'm going to bash in my computer screen.
'I certainly can make a deep, dark mystery out of almost anything,' she chided herself with a smile as she moved away.
Nancy: "I wonder if counseling would help."
Nancy realized she had been gone from the cottage for some time and no doubt the other girls wre eagerly awaiting her return so they might all go to town to start their investigating." (page 56)
However, in reality...
Bess: "Oh, I'm so happy to be away from there! Stealing the car and making a break for it was a good idea, George."
Cecily: "I still don't understand- who was that other girl back there?"
George: "Meh, just a friend of ours from when we were kids. She facies herself a junior detective or something. We try and humor her, but sometimes it all just gets too tiring."
Bess: "Poor kid... I don't think she has a clue." *sigh*
George: "Tell me about it. Anyway, lunch?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"As they rode along, [Nancy] told about the flashing light from the bull's-eye window of Pudding Stone Lodge. George said, 'I believe it was just the sunlight glinting on the glass.'
Cecily and Bess were inclined to think there was more to it, but could offer no explanation which Nancy had not already thought of." (page 59)
Cecily: "Aliens?"
Nancy: "Thought of it."
Bess: "A terrorist cell hiding out?"
Nancy: "Nope."
Cecily: "Neighborhood kids fooling around?"
Nancy: "Bo-ring!"
Bess: "A Josiah Crowley clone?"
Nancy: "Honestly, I don't even know why I bother with you guys."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"For an instant Nancy hesitated. Was this some kind of trick? She still did not like Karl Driscoll, despite his apparent friendliness." (page 64)
Okay, I think I've cracked the code. If someone is unfriendly, they may or may not be evil- after all, they could just be an awesomely annoying and rude red herring like Maud. But if they're nice and helpful, that can go either way, too- and it's a lot easier to tell the difference. If Nancy likes them, they're fine. But if Nancy has a Sneaking Suspicion That They're Up to No Good, then they're trouble. 
So. Ten bucks says Karl Driscoll's going to have Nancy bound and gagged in his basement before the book's out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy said she would like to go out on the roof. 'It is just possible I may find some evidence that an iron bird was once used as a cornice,' [Nancy] explained. Mrs. Driscoll agreed, though a bit reluctantly.
Can't imagine why she would have issues with a complete stranger poking around her home.
Bess spoke up. 'How about my looking around the outside of the house at the door knockers and so forth?
Nancy: "Or here's an idea- how 'bout we just move in?"
Then I'll walk back to the cottage and start supper.'
Publisher:"In the event that Hannah is not able to play the part of the maid, Bess should automatically take over."
'All right, but if I get too interested in my search, you'd better drive to town and pick up George and Cecily.'" (page 65-66)
Nancy: "You know, Just in case we decided that Cecily needs to have any part in the search for her own ancient heirloom."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy climbed down the ladder, and made her way back to the attic door. To her amazement, it would not open.
'Oh, dear!' Nancy murmured. 'I hope it's not one of those self-locking doors!'
Nancy: "I'd much rather discover that someone locked me out here on purpose!"
Nancy looked off into the distance, wondering if she could possibly signal Bess. But at that same moment she saw her friendcome from the cottage, lock it, and then hurry up the path to where the car was parked.
... So, why can't she just call out to her, then? Oh yeah, that's right- it wouldn't further the plot.
The faint sound of a motor came to Nancy's ears and she knew Bess had set off for the village." (page 69)
Bess: "Whew! Thank God I'm out of there. Locking the attic door was a good idea. See, Nancy the Girl Wonder isn't the only one with a brain!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The next instant the door opened with a bang and Vince Driscoll stepped out. Seeing Nancy, the burly man seized the girl's arm roughly. His face was red with rage and fire seemed to leap from his eyes." (page 71)
? 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'So far,' said Bess, 'we haven't found anything missing.' 
George nodded. 'Some intruders are like that. They get so angry if they can't find what they're looking for, they'll tear a place to pieces.'" (page 74-75)
Hmmm. And how would you know this, George?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy and Cecily each took a paddle, and without even consulting each other, they found themselves heading for Pudding Stone Lodge." (page 75)
Oh God, now they're starting to think alike... this cannot be good.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

""Nancy kept looking over her shoulder, hoping the apparition would appear. Cecily, on the other hand, was wishing just as hard that it would not. The lake remained dark." (page 76)
Cecily PWNS!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When they reached the cottage dock, Nancy glanced up. She glimpsed a man's shadowy figure moving off among the trees around the cabin.
'The prowler!' Nancy thought.
She leaped from the canoe 
Narrator: "- tipping it over, with Cecily still inside-"
and made a wild dash after the man. But he began running, too. There was enough light from the cottage and the rising moon to help Nancy keep track of the fleeing man. But he had too much of a head start and soon she lost sight of him completely. 
'He certainly acted guilty,' Nancy told herself." (page 76-78)
Yeah, I know I wouldn't run from a crazy psycho chasing me unless I'd done something wrong.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"There was a slight squeak and in a few seconds Satin emerged triumphantly, a mouse in his mouth! He placed it at Bess's feet." (page 78)
Satin: "You're my faaaavorite."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Cecily just managed to make the bus and everyone heaved a sigh of relief.
Bess: "Thank God she's gone!"
Next, Nancy drove to the local police headquarters and went inside. Chief Stovall, a friendly, husky man, was on duty. She introduced herself
Chief Stovall: "Oh no, I"ve heard about you! Get the hell out of this station!"
and gave a quick report on the cottage entry. The chief listened attentively.
Narrator: "And reached for his taser."
'We have a very limited force here, Miss Drew,' he said. 
Nancy: "Oh, that's okay- I'm used to dealing with incompetence."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"[Nancy], Bess, and George returned to the cottage, wondering in what kind of condition they would find it. Fortunately, no one had broken in, and the three friends settled down to read and write letters." (page 80)
Nancy: "Dear Dad: Am having a great time here in Maryland. Saw a ghost ship, got stuck on the roof of a complete stranger's house, nearly caught the guy who broke into our cottage... the usual. Tell Ned I'm not flirting with the other guys too much. Byezz!"
George: "Dear Mom: Am having an okay time here in Maryland. It's a bit boring; all we ever do is follow Nancy around and play dumb. What else is new? The only entertaining part is Bess- we saw a ghost ship, and it's totally freaking her out. LOLZ."
Bess: "Dear Whoever the Hell My Parents Are: "COME AND GET ME NOW!!!!! HELLLLP!!!!!!!!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Suddenly Nancy realized that Niko no doubt was looking for Cecily.
Well duh, did you really think that a famous singer would come over just to hang around with you guys? *sigh* Okay, in these books, he probably would.
Quickly she introduced herself and the others, then explained how they happened to be staying there.
Nancy: "We're squatters. But don't worry, we didn't kill off your girlfriend or anything."
'Cecily isn't here now?' Niko asked, a look of disappointment on his face.
NIko: "You mean I've been acting nice and polite to you freaks for no reason?"
'She's on her way to Baltimore,' Nancy replied.
'Baltimore! But why?'
'To see you,' Nancy replied. 'It's a shame- you just missed her. We put her on the bus not too long ago.'" (page 82)
Nancy: "And believe me, that wasn't the easiest task in the world- do you know how small those luggage compartments are? And with her kicking and screaming the whole time- whoo! It's a wonder we got back in time to meet you."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Niko's sad expression vanished. Suddenly he looked happy and boyish. 
? 
'I'm crazy about Cecily and want to marry her soon.'
NIko: "And if I don't, they'll ship me back to Mexico."
'She told us that, too,' said Bess.
Bess: "The three of us have basically become Cecily's therapists, as you can see."
'We three hope she'll change her mind and not put off the wedding too long.'" (page 83) 
Here, you guys- maybe this will help.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"A mischievous look suddenly came into Niko's eyes. 'I tell you what. I'll come back here tomorrow night after our performance. But don't tell Cecily when she returns.'
Niko: "I want to mess with her mind a bit more."
I'd rather surprise her.'
The girls promised, then Niko went on, 'How would you three like to bring your dates
And how does he know about their regular dates?
and be my guests at our performance day after tomorrow?'
Cue fangirling in three... two... one....
'Oh, we'd love it!' Bess burst out. 'I'm dying to hear you and your band.'
George added, 'Your new record is neat!'
'It certainly is,' Nancy agreed." (page 84)
It's like they only just now realized how ZOMG FAMOUS he is.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Sounds suspicious to me,' George remarked. '[Neal Raskin's] probably out delivering more of those phony records.'
'Of course we have no proof of this,' Nancy reminded her." (page 86)
Oh, come on- when have you ever needed proof before?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When the girls reached the cottage, they found Cecily there. She was depressed, reporting that she had missed Niko in Baltimore. 'No one knew where he was.' The red-haired girl's voice trembled. 'At first I thought of staying longer, but then I began to think probably he didn't want to see me again, so I came back.'" (page 88)
... Will someone just please tell her? I don't care if Pop-Star Idol wants to have his fun- this whole little subplot is a bit cruel.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"George whistled. 'This mystery sure is getting complicated. Now Nancy has put kidnappers into the picture.'" (page 92)
Bess: "So what else is new?"
George: *sigh* "I know what you mean."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'... I really think that if any of these ideas you mentioned have any truth in them, the police should be notified.'
'Without one shred of evidence?' Nancy asked. 'No, I won't make any accusations at this point.'" (page 93)
... Okay, who the hell are you and what have you done with Nancy Drew?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"[George] fell on her back, hitting her head hard. The blow stunned her, and George began to roll down the hill.
Nancy and Bess gasped. Their friend was heading straight for a group of thorny bushes at the bottom!
It's indicated that she may be suffering from severe back and head injuries and all you can care about is the cuts she might get from pricker bushes? Dude, I've run into those things at full speed- they're not that dangerous. Seriously.
The two girls leaped forward but were too late. Bess screamed as her dazed cousin hurtled into the bushes. Fortunately, her body had swerved and landed feet first. This saved her face and hands from being scratched." (page 93-94)
Bess: "Oh, thank goodness! At least you won't look all bloody and unseemly when we take you to the hospital to get your possible concussion treated!"
Nancy: "Nonsense. She's fine."
Bess: "... Did you see how hard she hit her head?"
Nancy: "Um, yeah. Don't care. She's fine."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"There was a slight lump on the back of [George's] head, but she said it was not really bothering her." (page 95)
George: "Nah, I'm perfectly fine. So... who are you two again?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When they reached the cottage, George refused to lie down, saying what she needed was a good, juicy steak." (page 95)
George: "Trust me on this one. I know a lot of medical stuff!"
Bess; "You watched an episode of House once."
George: "Meh. Whatever."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When they finished eating, George declared she felt fine and again longed for action. Bess looked at her cousin sternly. 'No physical exercise tonight. But I'll make a bargain with you. I'll drive you to the movies over at Ridgeton.'
'Neat idea,' said George. 'I accept.'
Bess: "But you can't try to make out with me during the commercials. Seriously. People do know we're cousins, you know."
Bess turned to Nancy meaningfully. 'I hope you girls don't mind not being invited.'" (page 97)
Bess: "It's just that we don't really like to be seen with you in public."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy began to count the flashes to see if they spelled out an SOS message. But they did not." (page 99)
And even if they did, that wouldn't necessarily mean anything. I used to flash SOS signals from my bedroom window all the time, and I was just a weird, bratty kid. So there. 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Great!' Nancy said to herself. 'Whoever my enemies are they're tricky.
... Comma?
It never occurred to me that anyone would tamper with the canoe.'" (page 107)
... Uh, Nancy, are you sure you're a good detective?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"As Nancy opened the door and walked in, she saw Bess, George, Cecily and Niko grouped around a roaring fire.
Cecily: "Don't woory, I'm completely okay with the four of you let me wallow in my misery, thinking my boyfriend hated me."
'Nancy! Whatever happened to you?' Bess cried out, upon seeing the bedraggled, shivering girl.
Her friend normally would have given a humorous answer, but instead she said seriously, 'Hello, Niko! I'm glad to see you again.'" (page 108)
Nancy: "Why, last time we met, we were conspiring to screw around with your headcase of a girlfriend, remember?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'And now, about that other red-haired girl. I have two completely opposite ideas about her.
Nancy: "Each of my personalities came up with one!"
One is that she's in cahoots with the Driscolls in some underhanded scheme; the other is that she's their prisoner or is somehow in their power. For example, it might be she managed to escape tonight. But she thinks that I am working with the Driscolls and only wanted to delay her so she could be recaptured.'
Bess sighed.
Bess: "You've been watching Passions again, haven't you?"
'You're going to fast for me, Miss Detective.'" (page 109-110)
Bess: "You know I have the attention span of a fruit fly!" 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Bess, the culinary expert, 
Um, Bess? Being able to eat twice your weight in food every day does not necessarily make you an culinary expert.
was out of the door by this time and heading for the little kitchen. The others followed.
'Well, what shall it be?' Bess held up a spoon and struck a chef-like pose." (page 110)
Am I actually supposed to know what that looks like?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"All three girls dashed into the living room. They looked horrified at the scene before them. The front door stood open, a huge rock lay on the floor and beside it both Cecily and Niko lay unconscious!" (page 112)
... So, did it hit one of them, then bounce over to the other, or something? That is one talented rock.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"For the first time [Nancy] realized exactly what had happened. The two assailants had carried the heavy rock up to the porch, quietly opened the door, and thrown their weapon with full force at the couple. Cecily and Niko had been seated on the small couch before the fireplace, their backs to the door. Fortunately, the rock had struck the couch, but the force of the blow had pitched the pair forward, and they had struck their heads on the edge of the hearth.
Um... no. Nope, sorry, I'm not buying this... there's now way you knew all that, Nancy, unless you watched it happen yourself. 
'They might have fallen right into the fire!' Nancy thought, shuddering.
Bess and George were already giving Cecily and Niko first aid and in a little while they revived. 
They were out cold for 'a little while'? Were they breathing? Did they need CPR? And most importantly, is anyone going to take them to get checked out at the freakin' hospital? You know, Nancy, if this famous singer dies because you were too lazy to check for a concussion, it'll totally be all your fault.
Both had bruises on their heads, but otherwise were not injured." (page 113)
Still, that's three people with major blows to the head in one day. I'd say that's a record, wouldn't you?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy smiled. 'The apparition is pretty weird- but it is very lifelike.'
'I just don't see any sense to it,' the officer said. 'Granted, this phantom ship is man-made, as you say. But who would want to do it and why?'
'To scare people away from the lake.'
Dude, if I knew of a haunted lake nearby, I'd be running toward it, not away from it.
Chief Stovall shrugged. 'Well, all right...'" (page 115)
Nancy: "Anyway, report to me if you find out anything new, okay?"
Chief Stovall: "Um, okay... say, isn't it supposed to be me who's in charge here?"
Nancy: "Oh, don't be silly!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"[Nancy] suggested that the strange background noise on the record which sounded like crickets might be a clue, although a slight one, to the place in which the records were being cut.
'I realize,' Nancy added, 'that crickets are found throughout the country.'
Detective Morton smiled at her." (page 116)
Detective Morton: "Wow Nancy, you sure paid attention in fourth-grade science class. Good job!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Soon after Nancy and the others had rested, showered, and dressed, the Emerson College youths arrived.
All of them?
All were grinning, obviously happy at seeing their favorite dates." (page 119)
Narrator: "And obviously expecting to have a shot at getting some later that evening."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Every number on the program drew wild acclaim, and after Niko had sung a second time, there was no holding down the teen-agers.
Narrator: "They stormed up onto the stage, trampling him. The end."
They kept up continuous applause which was so loud that the last number on the program could hardly be heard above the din." (page 120)
Hmmm. I think I went to a concert with these people once.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"As the audience filed out, still in a  delirious state,
Okay, who was passing the PCP 'round this time?
Cecily and her friends made their way to a door which led to the dressing rooms." (page 120)
Cecily: "Okay, everyone who isn't engaged to the guy close your eyes- you're not about to see my boyfriend naked!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"As soon as [Nancy and Niko] were seated, Niko locked the doors and said to the driver, 'Get us out of here!'
The car started slowly forward. 'Quick, Nancy! Crouch down! the bandleader advised, to keep the crowd from spotting them and stopping the car." (page 122)
Why would the crowd care about Nancy?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Right now, how about some ice cream?' Burt suggested." (page 126)
Bess: "I LOVE YOU. Remind me again why I'm dating that loser Dave instead of you?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy urged that they get an early start for the lake. 'It's Sunday morning and there won't be too many cars on the road, so we can make good time. On the way, we can stop and go to church." (page 127)
Burt: "... But I'm Jewish."
Nancy: "Meh, whatever. I'm not usually very religious- my random Christianity just flared up today for some reason."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Nancy, you certainly can get yourself involved in the most baffling cases. I'd like to bet that police chief at Misty Lake hasn't found out as muc as you have!'" (page 127)
Nancy: *laughs* "Please. Do they ever?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy had just pushed another stone out of the way, when the toe of her shoe hit something hard. She leaned over and saw that it was a protruding piece of rusty metal. 
Excitedly she dug around it with the heel of her shoe.
Nancy: "Oh, boy! Tetnus!"
The other girls came to assist. George found a stout tree branch and began to use it like a spade. Finally the girls were able to pull the object out of the ground.
It was a tall graceful iron flamingo!" (page 133-134)
Okay, that was not as dramatic as it was probably supposed to be.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"With almost loving care, Cecily ran her hands over the neck and body of the bird. She failed to find any kind of opening.
'Let's try the legs,' Nancy suggested." (page 134)
Anatomy 101: Nancy Drew style!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Bess wondered about the advisability of taking the ornament off the property, but Cecily assured her that if it contained something belonging to he,r she had every right to remove it, at least temporarily." (page 134)
Oh yeah, that arguement will hold a lot of weight in court.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nancy laughed and told the story. Cecily added taht they wanted to pry open one of the bird's feet. 
'We're exhausted,' said Bess. 'How about you muscle-men doing this little job?'" (Page 135)
You are not  doing your part to aide women's sufferage, Bess.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When it was laid flat on a table it proved to be a fairly long letter.
Cecily began to read aloud: '"From Simon, Delaroy, your brother."'
Um, isn't that usually how you end a letter?
Cecily looked up excitedly. 'This is to my great-great-grandfather- William!'
She continued to read.
'"I am afraid Maryland will be invaded in the war taht I know is coming,
Simon: "... Because I travelled forward in time and read an eighth-grade history textbook..."
so, for reasons of safety, I have decided to divide the family fortune in two seperate halves. If someone outside our family should find one half,
Simon: "And by 'one half', I mean your half."
the rest of the family will at least have the other. My dear William, your share I am putting in the corner couboard in the kitchen.
Simon: "I know, I know, such a good hiding place, amiright?"
Besides money and some securites I am also including the family silver. This is what I have done: Broken our mother's locket in two and sent half to you." (page 135-136)
Dude, I'd be pissed if my sister broke a family heirloom in half. Just saying.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"As soon as they had eaten a snack at the cottage, the boys said good night and left." (page 138)
Geez! How many snacks do these people eat in a day?!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The girls synchronized their wristwatches, then all but Cecily went off." (page 138)
And what, exactly, is the point of synchronizing your watches if you're all just going to go off together?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"How are the children?' Nancy asked, smiling.
'Oh, they're fine. They both love it here.' The woman did not offer to let the girls see the twins, however." (page 138)
Hee. She wants them to automatically offer up proof that they're not abusing their kids? Does she expect this of every parent she visits?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"[Chief Stovall] listened patiently to Nancy's account, but was obviously skeptical.
Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose.
'Your evidence is pretty flimsy, Miss Drew,' he said.
Whuh... did I just read that right? Did a police officer just second guess Nancy?: Wow.
The young sleuth reddned but did not reply. Her blue eyes held a disapproving look, however,
Oh, this guy is in trouble.
and finally the chief promised that he himself would come out with one of his men and look over the lodge premises.
And once again, intimidation wins. Yaaaay.
'Please! Can't you come now?' she urged.
The chief smiled.
Chief Stovall: "Not on your life, you little brat."
'You are an impatient young lady.
Thank God someone's finally noticed!
Well, I guess we can make it.'
When the two cars reached the right-hand fork which led to Pudding Stone Lodge, Nancy suggested that the chief wait until she checked with her friends to find out what had happened at the lodge." (page 146)
Nancy: "You wait here. Leave the police work to us ordinary citizens!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Chief Stovall leanred out the window and addressed himself to Nancy.
'We didn't find a thing. We even broke into that locked attic room to be sure. No sign of any prisoner. Besides, those people don't seem in the least suspicious. Miss Drew, I feel that you may have overstepped in this situation. You know trespassing is against the law. I warn you to stay awy from the lodge. You've caused the Driscolls enough inconvenience.'" (page 147)
... I don't really have anything to say that would add to the awesomeness that is that statement, except this: Can Chief Stovall come to River Heights and replace Chief McGinnis? Please?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When they reached the cottage, Cecily was given a full account of the morning's adventures." (page 148)
George: "And then the local police chief totally owned Nancy."
Nancy: (sulkily) "Shut up."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Suddenly [Nancy] burst out, 'I've a hunch that the Driscolls moved their prisoner to a different hiding place. The thing for us to do is find it!'" (page 148)
George: "Geez, Nancy! Can't you ever just let it go?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"The kitchen was tidied, then once more the six set off. Cecily had decided to stay at the cottage.
Cecily: "Ain't no way y'all are in involving me in this freak show."
Suddenly Nancy mentioned the police chief's warning against their trespassing." (page 149)
Cecily: "Case in point."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Is it my fault [Nancy] don't scare easy?' Karl asked. 'Even when Vince and I sneaked down to the cottage and threw a rock inside, she and her pals didn't leave.'" (page 155-156)
Karl: "I mean, I just don't get it! They survived the ghost ship sighting, fine. Getting locked out on our roof, understandable. But the almighty rock being thrown at them? If she's brave enough to withstand that, I fear we have now way of defeating her."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"It had started to drizzle and instantly Nancy thought of slippery road. She wondered how the boys were making out.
Nancy: "God, I'll kill Ned. He swore he wasn't gay!"
At that very moment Ned, Burt, and Dave had pulled into an all-night gas station.
And Nancy sees this through telepathy, I'm assuming.
While the attendant filled up the tank, Ned rushed to a phone booth and called police headquarters in Baltimore, asking that Detective Morton be alerted about the Driscoll truck headed for the city.
Ned dashed outside, climbed behind the wheel, and resumed pursuit.
Attendant: "What the hell are you doing? You have to pay, you know!"
Burt and Dave: "Yeah, and you forgot about us! Come back!"
Vince's truck was not going very fast in the misty drizzle, so it was easy for the boys to catch up. Suddenly the truck turned into a bumpy side road, only one lane wide.
'Where do you suppose they're making this delivery?' Dave asked.
Burt replied, 'I can't imagine.'" (page 157)
But: "But I'm sure it's not going to be any place on this small, deserted road we just turned on to!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"When [Ned, Burt, and Dave] reached the garage, it was empty. 'The truck may be at the house getting loaded,' Burt ventured.
Well, then the Driscolls had better keep it off the road until it's sober again!
Ned suggested that Dave go to town and notify Chief Stovall of what had happened and bring back help." (page 161)
And we all know how well it went over the last time they tried that...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Cecily now excitedly told the story behind her half locket. 'I put yours and mine together, and they're a perfect fit,' she concluded.
Cecily: "We're SOULMATES!!!1!!1!!"
'That's another reason I think we're related.'
Susan cried out, 'Oh, I'm so happy to have a cousin like you.'" (page 162-163)
Susan: "Whoever the hell you are!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'Good for you, Miss Drew!' [Chief Stovall] said. 'You're an excellent detective and I apologize for not taking your reports more seriously.'" (page 171)
*sigh* Oh, well- it was fun while it lasted.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"'The twins are in bed,' [Susan] announced. 'They have really taken all this excitement very well.'" (page 171)
Susan: "I only anticipate them needing two or three years of intense therapy!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"[The ghost ship] is an ingenious arrangement of wires, sound projector, and a film clip...
Siskel and Ebert: "Two thumbs up!"
No wonder [Karl Driscoll] had everyone around here scared silly!'
'All but Nancy!' Bess reminded him proudly.
'None of you really believed it was real,' Nancy insisted." (page 175)
Bess: "Hmph. Speak for yourself."
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April 2012

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